I'm a 3536 37 38 year old mother of 3 who needs a break - physical, mental, spiritual or financial - I'll take what I can get. My husband says I work too much and I should chill more. Whether he's right or wrong, my life is what it is. I'd love some more "me time" to read, write and shop, but I never have the time to take it. So this blog is my "me time" and it's ALL ABOUT ME.
Aaaaand just when you’re
feeling all smug and happy about your blog, along comes this comment in answer
to my “Missing: 1x social life” post:
“I thought "your" life was your family when you had one.
Being a mother is one of life's biggest blessings but we miss it so often
because our culture makes us think that we need all these other things to make
us "who we REALLY are", or were meant to be; a job, a social life,
etc, etc. These things aren't bad but they make us discontent with our
situation that so many would give up all these other things to have. I wish
more moms would find satisfaction in the mundane work that's necessary to raise
up children. It's the little things in life that seem so insignificant that
really count.”
Ashley, I get what you’re
saying. Believe me: I appreciate my status as a mom. I tried for more than 3
years to conceive James. I’ve been pregnant 6 times and I have 3 live children.
I love, appreciate and cherish them.
However, I don’t cherish
the mundane. Not that I dream of being one of those creepy Mrs Americas
(because I live in South Africa, but also, just a little because entering
pageants when you’re a mom – or at all - is, you know, creepy and twisted). Not
because I want to be famous and known as one of those socialite-types. No, not
for any of those reasons, but because…. wait for it, because this is profound:
I don’t cherish the mundane.
Just in case we’re not
clear, here it is again: I don’t enjoy cooking. I don’t enjoy tidying. I hate
routine. My favourite reading matter isn’t school notices. My idea of the ideal
Friday night outing isn’t a school Bingo evening. The “life” I was whining
about in my “Missing” post isn’t a fantastic career, or a dazzling social life.
No, what I feel I’m missing out on now that I’m busy with the mundane all the
time is a rich intellectual life. The chance now and then to read a good book,
to be creative, to write and think about something other than how to palm off
raffle tickets and what kind of spread to slap on today’s sandwich.
In case I still haven’t
been clear enough: I don’t hate my children. I hate the mundane. I know it’s
the little things that count. Like the 10 minutes I spend in bed with them in
the morning. Or the time Hannah and I spent last night at a belly-dancing
lesson. Or laughing at one of James’s not-very-funny jokes. It’s the little
things like that that I cherish. Not the mundane.
Posted at 06:59 am by neenblog
Tesoro1 July 2, 2008 06:37 PM PDT Wow, I think that you have summed up my life!!! Not that it is a good thing, but it is a bit reassuring that I am not the only one who hates Routine!
angel June 26, 2008 08:41 AM PDT i could not agree more!
Wenchy June 25, 2008 05:06 PM PDT Hi Janine.... I think you make perfect sense... I do not cherish the mundane either!!
Ashley June 25, 2008 04:27 PM PDT I understand your distinction between mundane and the other "little things." But these mundane things are just part of what run a house. I think moms are the most "taken for granted" people but without them who or how would children get fed, "groomed", or clothed with clean clothes. I know that mundane things can be hard and sometimes drudgery. But these mundane things aren't done "just because" they are done for those sweet blessings that you love so much. Put yourself in one of your children's shoes. If your mom complained about the mundane things such as combing your hair or fixing your lunch, what kind of message would that send to you? Self-sacrificing our time (and that dazzling social life) for all these necessary things shows our children that we love them.
Bee June 25, 2008 11:18 AM PDT Way to go Neen, well said. I too am not an ardent lover of the mundane. Then again (as i've said before ad nauseum) I only have the 1 kid. Thank God for that. Rhiannon singing in a chipmunk voice yesterday however was a highlight. Was hilarious! So yes we have lovely moments. Some again are not so lovely - like her refusing to take her 900 million ront Eye Q supplement cos its like a capsule. UUUURGH. Not so lovely. Love you tho - ok baai. xxx
beck June 25, 2008 07:29 AM PDT Very well said. I completely agree. "Find satisfaction in the mundane" is a very difficult statement for me to agree with as well. I think there's lots more to being satisfied than simply enjoying mundane routines. Yes a lot of it is mundane but what keeps me going is those spontaneous 30 second pieces of time when your heart just explodes with love when you see your child doing x, y or z or other little things like that. THAT's what keeps me going through the mundane. Most of the time. Other times I sulk and feel sorry for myself and forget all mundane work altogether but that's pretty childish. I'm still working on it. =)
