I think what Ashley and I disagree on is whether moms have a right to complain.

She says,

“Put yourself in one of your children's shoes. If your mom complained about the mundane things such as combing your hair or fixing your lunch, what kind of message would that send to you? Self-sacrificing our time (and that dazzling social life) for all these necessary things shows our children that we love them.”

What I get from her comment is that moms don’t have a right to whine. We’re not allowed to say we don’t enjoy something relating to child-rearing. We should uncomplainingly sacrifice all our time to serve our families.

I don’t agree. I watched my mother immerse herself in the mundane for 20 years. She never complained. Ever. To anyone. It earned her a breakdown, serious enough to land her in a psychiatric hospital.

What I learned from her experience was to always be in touch with my feelings. I don’t think my mom even complained to herself. Which meant she wasn’t sure about how she felt about continuously serving at all times.

So I complain. I whine. I sulk sometimes.

However, I think you misunderstand, Ashley: I don’t sit around complaining like an 8 year old to my kids about how irritating it is that I have to make them supper. I wait until they’re in bed and then I complain to the internet. Totally different audience, totally different purpose. I complain because I’m a real person, with real feelings, and sometimes I don’t like doing the necessary.

Not that I’d ever neglect the necessary. I just like grumbling sometimes.